This one shelf in my bookcase...

is full of what I call "Single Christian Women books."

These are titles that have helped me find contentment and purpose when I feel lonely, lost, or envious. (Or some really attractive version of all three.) A few years ago, right around NYE when I was making my list of resolutions, I decided that I was fed up with feeling like a mopey third wheel (or fifth wheel, or seventh wheel... I have a lot of married friends). Don't get me wrong, I've regressed plenty of times since then and still have evenings of crying into my ice cream while watching Titanic.

All memes from British sitcom Miranda, starring Miranda Hart, 
aka Chummy from Call the Midwife, aka my spirit animal

But for the most part, I have come to terms with myself and the fact that, as cheesy as it sounds, I need to know and love myself enough before I could be in a successful relationship.

And loving myself can only happen when I am right with God. I grew up in the church, and count it as the greatest blessing in my life that my family and friends all have a similar faith and have been a spiritual foundation for me if I lose my way. It is difficult for me to time manage in my personal life: setting aside time to clean my room, pick up hobbies other than Netflix/Hulu/Prime, or spending time in prayer and devotions. That is one reason why I enjoy doing OBS (online Bible studies for the uninitiated) with Proverbs31 Ministries-- there is a set reading for each day, and accompanying blog posts and videos. There is also a community of women from all over to talk to (#commentssectionFTW) and the leaders are relatable and wise. That pre-planned guide and the accountability from other people definitely helps me to set daily time aside for God.

There is a marked difference in all areas of my life when I am right with God and have been spending consistent, quality time with Him. I am happier and content, am more motivated to be productive and help others, and aware of the miraculous life I've been given and am so much more grateful for my blessings. But, like physical exercise, it is difficult to get back on the metaphorical Bible bike if you miss a day or two. Because for me, that turns into weeks or even months before I set that time aside again. Church on Sundays, sure, but I'll forget to bring my journal to take notes on the sermon. Or I'll tell myself that I'll catch up later in the day once we get home from services... only to get distracted by something else. (Usually this is food, TV, or a nap.)

All of this to say: how should I expect to meet a Good Guy when all I do is sit around feeling sorry for myself and my boring life? I need to be strong in my faith, in myself, and in my other relationships and THAT will make me go out and meet new people. Not with the goal of Finding a Man, but with the goal of spending time with people and sharing with them. (And incidentally, that increases the chances of finding someone anyway!) So loving on those already in my life, being grounded in the Word, and being kind to myself are my priority. Even if this is true for me as well as Miranda:

:)

Post Bibliography:
Girl Meets God by Lauren Winner
Women of the Reformation in France and England by Roland Bainton
She Shall Be Called Woman by Frances Vander Velde *belonged to my grandmother, and she used it lead a Bible study at church years ago
Jesus Calling by Sarah Young
Why Her? 6 Truths We Need to Hear When Measuring Up Leaves Us Falling Behind by Nicki Koziarz *used in an online Bible study
The Confident Woman by Joyce Meyer
The Broken Way by Ann Voskamp
Sex and the Single Christian Girl by Marian Jordan Ellis
Who's Picking Me Up From the Airport? by Cindy Johnson
The Thrill of the Chaste by Dawn Eden
Grace, Not Perfection by Emily Ley
They Were Single Too: 8 Biblical Role Models by David Hoffeditz
Uninvited by Lysa TerKeust *another OBS book
Lady in Waiting by Kendall & Jones
I Am Loved by Wendy Blight *yep, another OBS title
The Gentle Art of Discipling Women by Dana Yeakley
Listen, Love, Repeat by Karen Ehman
One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp
The Way of Christian Living by John Timmerman
Who Has Your Heart? by Emily Ryan
Hello, Beauty Full by Elisa Morgan
She Believes by Debbie Lindell
You're Loved No Matter What by Holley Gerth
Thrive by Lina Abujamra
Tattered and Mended by Cynthia Ruchti
Letting Go of Perfect by Amy Spiegel
Who Calls Me Beautiful? by Regina Franklin
Spinster by Kate Bolick *secular book but highly recommended for women